Blogorado Patch


Click for full-size. Also available with white background.

Blogorado Weekend Day Three

Sunday morning, Snarky knocked on my door to tell me we were meeting for breakfast a little earlier that planned. We went over the restaurant where I met MattG and JPG, who had arrived earlier that morning. I was astounded to see that along with everything else this weekend, FarmFamily had managed to get Miley Cyrus to be our waitress for the morning! I tell you there’s nothing these folks can’t do.

After everyone ate and talked for a bit more, I had to say my goodbyes and head back home as the Newt had been sick all weekend and I wanted to get back in time to give DD a break. On the trip back I got to enjoy some of the beautiful scenery I had missed on the trip down. Got home about 3:00.

I really had a great time meeting every single person and cannot thank FarmGirl, FarmMom and FarmDad enough for such a wonderful trip!

Blogorado Weekend Day Two – Part Two

I rode over to Mamaw’s with Ambulance Driver, Katy Beth and Gay_Cynic and we met up with everyone else. FarmMom brought out a dish of yummy looking battered fried meat chunks. “Yum, these are delicious. What are they?” I asked while popping a few more in my mouth. “I’ll tell you when you finish,” FarmMom replied. Turns out I had just had my first taste of the delicacy known as Rocky Mountain oysters.

I tried some of Stingray’s excellent home-brewed beer and it was very tasty to say the least. FarmDad announced that dinner was served so we all grabbed a plate and loaded up on chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn and bread.

I consider myself a little bit of a chicken fried steak connoisseur. I have eaten chicken fried steak all over the country. I have gone so far as to have my mother-in-law freeze and fedex me some overnight. Just because.

Unfortunately, someone is going to have to be dropped from my Top 3 Chicken Fried Steak’s Ever list, because FarmMom’s chicken fried steak blew them all away!* It is seriously on a whole other level. This is the One by which all others shall be judged. Seriously.

After dinner, we all sat around and listened to stories and told jokes. AEPilot_Jim got a lap dance from Ambulance Driver, much to everyone’s delight. It was getting late, I was tired and OldNFO offered me a ride back to the hotel. It still took me another hour to wind down and fall asleep.

*Just to be clear, my mother-in-law’s chicken fried steak is still on the list.

Blogorado Weekend Day Two – Part One

Saturday morning, I went to the front desk to thank them for leaving the key out for me and get the wireless login info. Grabbed a cup of coffee and finally logged on to see what was happening. Snarky notified me that breakfast was in 30 minutes. Gay_Cynic said he was just a few doors over, so we all met up and headed over. 

I started to get really nervous as we walked across the street to the restaurant for breakfast. We walked in and I met FarmGirl, FarmMom, FarmDadAmublance Driver and Katy Beth, ChristinaLMT, AEPilot_Jim, Labrat and Stingray, OldNFO, Breda, and Alan all at once!

Just to be safe, the waitress hid put us in our own room and everyone chatted while we either waited for, or ate our breakfasts.  Plans for the day were all set so we gathered in the parking lot where JayG even made a virtual appearance via cell phone.

We drove to FarmHouse, loaded up our trucks and headed out to the range for a full day of shooting. While we were talking and waiting for final range prep to be completed, people gathered round to get a glimpse of my legendary knee beards*. Soon afterwards Phlegmfatale and LawDog arrived.

There were so many guns, I don’t remember them all. We shot at poppers, plates, and paper with handguns and at targets, tennis balls and tannerite with rifles. Everyone was wearing the shooter grin. At sunset, we packed up and headed back to town to wash up and meet back at FarmHouse for dinner.

*Photo by AEPilot_Jim

Blogorado Weekend Day One

I had planned on heading down to FarmGirl’s place around noon Friday, but it took me a while to get everything located and packed up. Just as I was about ready to start heading out, I received a phone call from the elementary school. The Newt had thrown up in the cafeteria at lunch and someone needed to come pick him up. After we got back home, I finished getting everything together and waited for DD to get off work so I could head out.

Finally hit the road after gassing up and made it all of 9 miles in the first 20 minutes due to an accident further south on the interstate. At this point the sun was beginning to set so I decided to call FarmGirl and the hotel I was staying at to let them know I would be there much later than anticipated.

I settled in and drove on south through the evening looking for signs and hoping I hadn’t missed an exit in the dark. (Damn you daylight savings!) I was hoping to enjoy some new scenery on the trip down. Here’s what southern Colorado looks like at night.


It looks like DARK.

I finally arrived at the hotel parking lot about 9:30 PM, found the room key they had hidden under the door mat for me and unloaded my bags. As I was standing outside, I spied Ambulance Driver coming out of his room to fetch something from his truck. We made eye-contact and said “Howdy.” Not knowing who I was, I know he went back inside thinking “Huh, Sumdood is loitering around outside.” I spent about 30 minutes futzing with the wi-fi with no success so I called it a night and went to bed.

Dramatic Recreation

“As I launched my battle mug full of double espresso towards my attacker’s unyielding face. I bladed my body weak-side while preparing to dive and roll to his off-hand side. I drew my Beretta from my pocket mid-roll, noting it seemed like an eternity to bring it to bear. I was blinded briefly from the glare on his massive blade. Undeterred I bore down on him yelling ‘Stop!'”

Read the rest of the story.

Weekly Haiku Contest Benefits

Update: Please vote for me?

A haiku ’bout hell
Fiery topic Sparrow writes
Deluxe Care Package

Go make one up yourself.

MHI Patch Contest Update

They won! Sorta.

Back off man, they’re scientists. Congratulations to the Atomic Nerds. Their patch had the 2nd most votes, and I really liked the patch and the backstory.  Because I’m the writer, I can do whatever I feel like, so I decided that they win too.  It is good to be me.

Thanks everyone who voted.

MHI Patch Contest Bleg

If you haven’t voted yet, please go give the the Atomic Nerds a hand and vote for their entry in the MHI Patch Contest.

Just type “Exite! Chemicus Sum!” in the comments here to cast a vote.

Just do it already!

Congatulations Whitebread!


*Caption by the incredible JayG!

%d bloggers like this: